HERPETOLOGIST REGAINS FRIEND
It was reported today that a pet Boa Constrictor (owned by your brother) was found early this morning. Mr Watson Senior said that he was awakened to the sound of metal clanging and upon investigation Mr Watson found everything seemingly in good order in the living room and blamed the noise on the hamsters. No sooner was Mr Watson settled back in bed than a series of crashes occurred in the living room. Mr Watson’s second visit to the scene proved to be the undoing of Mrs Boa’s freedom. Upon entering the living room Mr Watson discovered, upon close investigation, that broken china littered the floor under the corner knick-knack shelf. Gazing upward he saw Mrs Snake stretched full length with her head resting on the top shelf. Damage to the figurines was extensive to say the least.
Quick action on the part of Mrs Watson and an interested passerby, Karen Jean Watson, brought the culprit off its lofty perch. The chief Herpetologist in the Watson household (Steve) was called for a consultation and after due consideration the escapee was removed to the confines of the reinforced prison on the second floor. A speedy trial was held and the prisoner was sentenced to prison for the remainder of its natural life…with daily exercise privileges extended and granted.
SNAKE TELLS OF ESCAPE
During an interview with this reporter, Mrs Boa (a professional escape artist from South America) told of her escapades while on an unofficial leave from Aquarium Prison. It may be noted that up to this time, no other such reptile had ever made good its escape from this institution. Mrs Boa had the following to say;
I had recently been transported from a prison in South America and decided while in the Northeastern part of the United States to tour the ‘HIGH” spots of the area. Several nights ago (I forget how many…time passes so fast when one is having fun) I flew the coupe. That first night the snoring in the room where I was staying was unbearable, so I decided to move to quieter quarters. I made my way down a long hall to what appeared to be a female human being’s bed chamber. The smell from dirty stockings proved twice as bad as the snoring in the room which I had just come from. The trip from the second floor to the first floor proved uneventful until I was half way down and then a distinct odor filled the air. You just cannot explain how the smell of fresh hamster affects one unless you are of my kind. No mater how much I wanted that tender animal, I decided to play it cool and case the joint. I felt that where there was one hamster, there might be more.
Sure enough, in my ramblings that night I discovered an old worn-out gerbil and assorted fish…too small and unappetizing to eat. Being of patient nature as I am, I decided to hole up in a secluded spot and wait and see if anything else of interest (like a mouse or two) might show up. I found a great place (really neat) under a seat cushion to make my home.
Human beings came and went. One or two of the human beings used the chair once or twice to sit in. Talk about overweight people! This place has its share let me tell you. Where was I? Oh yes, the waiting game. You know that a snake of patience can stand just so much waiting and then you have to take initiative. On Saturday night I decided to make my move and in the process of slithering across the floor I moved the card table which then hit the aquarium pump. This noise woke up Mr Watson Senior who then paid the living room a visit. Luck was with me and I wasn’t discovered.
I formulated a plan of attack to get my feed of “Hamster a La Carte”. I would climb the knick-knack shelf, swing over onto the top of the piano and then swoop down on top of the hamster cage, push off the top and proceed with my dinner. I figured that if I approached it from the top, the hamster wouldn’t see me and it would afford me the element of surprise.
Now was my chance to execute the plan that I had made! Stretching upward as far as I could reach, I swung onto the bottom shelf. I really hadn’t counted on any human beings placing figurines on the shelves. My nose nudged one on the bottom shelf and before I knew what had happened, I heard a resounding crash on the wood floor below me. I knew the jig would be up and there was only one chance now. I moved upward as fast as I could and hoped to get my meal before anyone discovered me. Wouldn’t you know it…my luck ran out and on came the light. Before I had a chance to do anything, I was nabbed. You would have thought I was “Jack the Ripper” the way people carried on.
I plan to appeal to the Herpetology Society on the grounds that my private life was invaded. I swear…I will make another attempt to be free!!!
HERPETOLOGIST’S LIFE NOT AN EASY ONE (STEVE)
In the eyes of a Herpetologist (of a few months standing), being awakened at 2:15 AM (to even capture one’s own Boa) is of little fun…I can assure you! I awoke with the news that my boa had been sighted and that my services were needed. Of course duty called and I just had to respond. Besides, I had thirty hard earned bucks tied up in my slithering friend. I expressed my deep concern about how I would loose sleep trying to find a way to secure the cover on the aquarium to prevent Mrs Boa’s second escape. What was really upsetting was the fact that I had to leave a great dream that I was involved in. I don’t remember what it was about, but I wanted to get back to it. Normally, the charge for my services are rather high, but this time I gave a special rate. I only charged a sly remark, “I’ve got to get some sleep” in a tone to betray my complete annoyance.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A Boa Constrictor stuck on a knick-knack shelf is known as a serpent which never learns the knack of it and remains “Boa D”. -
Dad Watson - August 27, 1973
